Impressing a Colombian Family — Dating in Barranquilla

Imagine you’re dating a Colombian woman.

Imagine that it’s going well and maybe you want to spend the rest of your life with her.

Imagine that you want to get down on one knee, present her with a ring, and hope that she says yes.

Now for a lot of men, that’s not just imagination. It’s a reality that they’re living and for some, it’s a reality that they’re striving towards. Maybe you’re one of those guys for whom it’s not just an imagined scenario. Maybe it’s your reality or maybe it’s the reality that you’re working towards.

But there’s just one little hitch in your journey: her parents. You don’t know how to act when meeting Colombian parents. Now, you obviously want to impress them because you need them to like you. If they don’t like you, your girlfriend’s feelings may change or she might start seeing you in a new, unflattering light.

And you absolutely do not want that because that’s going to have a pretty negative impact on the arc of your relationship. What was supposed to end in marriage and kids suddenly swerves and ends with two people who are heartbroken. All because you couldn’t convince her parents that you’re the man for their little girl.

But you have to show them that you’re good enough.

Show the dad you’re good enough

The traditional family structure is still observed in Colombia. That means that housework is for women and professional work is for men. It also means that the father is the head of the family. If they sit at the table, take a guess as to who’s sitting at the head of it. Yeah, the father.

That woman you’re dating and hoping to marry is the apple of his eye and he’s going to want to make sure that you can give her the life she deserves. He’s going to want to make sure that when you sit at the head of your own table, that you can put food on it.

Show him that your feelings for his daughter are real, that you’re not just some cad looking for a quick fling. Then show him that you’re capable of providing for her, that you have the means not only to raise kids but to give them a good life as well.

Show the mom that you’re for real

Now, because domestic work like housekeeping and childrearing is under the purview of women in a Colombian family, your girlfriend’s primary caregiver, when she was growing up, was probably her mother. So there’s a bond there. Her mom raised her and she’s not going to want to see her daughter make a mistake and marry a man who’s not good enough for her.

If you want her mom to like you, then you need to come across as a gentleman. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to ply her with a few compliments. Maybe express amazement at how young she looks despite having a daughter that’s old enough to get married. Maybe you can say that she looks more like a sister than a mother.

But also her that your love is genuine and that you want to take care of her daughter. And maybe mention that you’d like to turn her daughter into a mother herself. The prospect of grandchildren is going to make her more amenable to the idea of her daughter getting married.

Show some piety

Colombia has a very strong Catholic tradition because the country that colonized it, Spain, had a very strong Catholic tradition. This tradition makes faith kind of a big deal in the country.

Now, if you’re Catholic yourself, then that’s good for you. Sharing the same faith, at least nominally, will put her parents’ minds at ease when it comes to you. Some very religious people won’t consider a person to be any kind of good if they’re not pious.

Now, if you’re not Catholic or not religious, it’s not the end of the road. Just maybe imply a willingness to convert or have the kids baptized into the religion. If you find that a bit too extreme for you, then talk it over a little more. There’s no reason you can’t come to a healthy compromise.

Speak some Spanish

The United States has a fairly large population that can speak Spanish fluently. There’s also a lot of people who take up Spanish in school as a language elective. But not everyone knows how to speak the language.

If you’re fluent in it, then use it when you meet your girlfriend’s family. If you’re not, then learn some and use it. Language is a very important facet of culture and her family will feel a lot better about some foreign man whisking their daughter up north if he shows that he’s willing to honor her culture and her heritage.

Buy their approval

If you’ve exhausted all available options, it’s important to remember that all’s fair in love and war. And why is it important? Because you may have to resort to tactics that you see as somewhat underhanded. One of those tactics is bribery.

Do you know how you’re never supposed to show up empty-handed when you’re a guest? Well, you’re going to have to take that old adage up a notch or two.

If you show up with personalized gifts for everyone, your intentions are going to be extremely clear. So don’t show up with personalized gifts for each individual person. But show up with a nice bottle of wine or something and flowers for the mom. That’ll make you look considerate and being considerate is a desirable trait in a potential son-in-law.

You can also try treating everyone to food. That might work out in your favor since it shows that you have the means to pay for a rather large meal.

Family is important to a lot of people. But there are societies where there’s a particular cultural significance to it, places where parents wield the power to veto their child’s romantic decisions. If you do find yourself dating someone from such a culture, then you need to do everything you can to make sure that that veto power isn’t wielded against you.